Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No
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Is your life out of control? Do people take advantage of you? Do you have trouble saying no? Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. Boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries affect all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us, how, and when. Mental boundaries give us freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions. Emotional boundaries help us deal with our own emotions and disengage us from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others. Spiritual boundaries help us distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator. Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer biblically based insights into how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves—boundaries that give us freedom to walk as the loving, giving, fulfilled individuals God created us to be.In order to call themselves good Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, always accommodating others’ needs) or overly rigid boundaries (to the point of being righteous and judgmental). Psychologists and inspirational speakers Cloud and Townsend show readers how to set reasonable boundaries in order to follow the true path of Christianity. This book has become immensely popular, most likely because it makes personal boundaries easier to define and is filled with spiritual purpose. Some cautions: the format can be overly self-helpish for such a complex discussion and the authors at one point imply that judicious spankings may be an acceptable form of setting boundaries with children. However, many Christians will probably find themselves grateful for this biblical context of boundaries. –Gail Hudson
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